Member since April 2015.

Carlton Tedford

Day 595: Withholding Reactions

It’s high times for all reactions within me to stop, being that I’ve been there, done that, and been back again and again lol and again, everytime the mind comes up with a more unique way for me/us to react to. Unique in the sense of, I didn’t see that coming, but we did, with... —

Day 594: We Need Help

While the world need to change, we’d rather sit back and watch the world through our mind as a brain, in movie theatre’s with reclining red chairs, that Impairs our vision, looking to see if something is really out there, because the thrill is in the not knowing which way to g... —

Day 593: One Moment is Not Enough

Interesting how when walking throughout my day, when faced with a point that I see/realize what it is, then move onto correcting it, afterwards I feel as if I’ve done something big, which it is in a sense, but after that I sort of get the big head of praising myself for that o... —

Day 592: When it Rains It Pours

To being tested to see if you react again, where most likely when something goes wrong in your world such as for instance, something that you use regularly breaks at the most unforeseen time and/or at a time when there’s no place open for you to get it fixed, it’s imperative t... —

Day 591: How did I Get to this Point Pt.3

Ok, so I left off in my previous post with: Day 590: How did I Get to this Point Pt.2 Being that for some reason I was too scared to join the forums because I didn’t know what to say, but had a million and one questions about what I was experiencing, I just continued liking t... —

Day 590: How did I Get to this Point Pt.2

For context from the previous post Day 589: How did I Get to this Point Anyway this information still being foreign to me,, I became overzealous and wanted to tell everyone I knew about it, but little did I know, this would be the end of quite a few more relationships, includ... —

Day 589: How did I Get to this Point

Most of my life, when looking back on it, has been much of a Blur, being that there’s things I can’t remember, and when told by someone that I did this or that back in the day, I can’t believe it, although after hearing it, realize; “Yep that sounds like me”, I mean, after bei... —

Day 588: Character Not Working Out, (I am) Pt.2

It’s fairly easy to slip back into an old character, being in an oh so familiar environment of one’s past, which in my case/this case, is being back in the gym working out again, where the test comes in when knowing that you’re there to focus on you, your body and what you’re ... —

Day 587: Character’s Not Working Out

I am, as something I tell myself, because recently I’ve joined a gym and started working out again after quite a few years of not doing much, where the only thing I’ve done throughout the time off was maybe a few pushups here and there and a little arm work and of course ride ... —

Day 586: Keep It Pushing (Moving Forward In my Process)

Whenever I’ve made a mistake in the past and/or have fallen when walking a particular point, there’s a pattern that I follow of having this sort of extended depressive feeling lingering around within and as me and although this feeling is in relations to the point, brought on ... —

Day 585: Internal Rage Pt. 2

The reason I chose this topic to write about is because there has been time throughout my process where it felt as if I was climbing a mountain upside down, then would become frustrated and not knowing how to put myself back right side up again. Thing is and the reason I would... —

Day 584: Internal Rage

When you get to the point where you feel there’s no solution to what you’re experiencing, brought on by a mind possession of thinking that you’re less than and just don’t get things like everyone else does, I mean it feel like you’re on another page than everyone else and no o... —

Day 583: An Outsiders Perspective

It’s been some time since I’ve been back in my home town, driving and looking around at what’s left of once a thriving city, where families were built to create a since of belonging, belonging to no one but a belief system of hope, hoping to someday leave this place and bring ... —

Day 582: Jumping the Gun

In rush hour traffic, we tend to jump the gun everytime we seeing an opening in the other lane, but as soon as we jump over into the other lane it comes to a halt, and the lane we were previously in moves ahead, where we’re then wonder why we switched lanes in the first place ... —

Day 581: Liar Liar Pants On Fire

Just when you think you have a grip on something, up pops another aspect of it. When placed in a position of being grilled by an establishment, question to the point of uncertainty, where answers had to be given immediately in the moment, in order for something to go through, ... —

Day 580: Believing Others Words, (The Sky is Falling Down)

Without investigation we follow and believe things whole heartedly, straight into Never, Never land, where we’ll never change until we stop believing all the bullshit that sound good and or houses fear, to the point of believing, that it’s imperative that we do thing, this, th... —

Day 579: Waiting for the Sky to Fall Down

Growing up our form of entertainment was story book record, with all kinds of stories, and in one of the stories there was this young animal named chicken little who lived in a town with other animals, that all got alone with each other, so one day as chicken little was out do... —

Day 578: Nothing Happened

As I set down to write, this is what came out in the moment; Do you actually think that you’re protecting someone by withholding vital information from them, that has to do with things that happened in their lives, especially if you’re a so called friend, when you think that y... —

Day 577 Instant Playouts Pt.2

Interesting note the way things play out is never how you envisioned them to, which means the instant playouts we envision is really useless, which causes one to hope and wish for things to go a certain way and when they don’t, we then realize what was it all for, in other wor... —

Day 576: Instant Playout

A pattern I see that I still follow is a fascinating thing how anytime I plan something, have something planned or going to do something, meet with someone or go somewhere later in the day and/or in the near future, I start thinking about it too much, where I start playing out... —

Day 575: Standing in the Way

Hurdles, Obstacles and curbs that’s small, they say never mind the small things, but that’s when you fall, but through it all we soon realize that we’re the obstacles that we face, to investigating why and how did I create our day. Heaven is a place for the humble and meek, bu... —

Day 574: Being the Same in a Different Setting

People change, but most of the time it comes when you’ve place yourself in a different setting, where around New people/those your meeting for the first time, we see this as a clean slate of sort, meaning we believe we’re able to start from scratch, then perpetuate which ever ... —

Day 573: Realization When Sounding Self-Forgiveness (Self-Forgiveness)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe, that I am unable to put my words together enough that would explain the way I experience myself, now that I walking process from consciousness to awareness, that would cause for effective commu... —

Day 572: Realization When Sounding Self-Forgiveness

It easy to talk about stuff that you don’t really know about because you can just make shit up and make it sound good, but when you’re getting to the point of understanding what’s going on within yourself and in this world, for me it’s a different story, where at times it’s be... —

Day 571: Not Considering the Whole (Self-Forgiveness)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have witness things happening in my world and in my life to others and have said to myself; “I’m glad that it wasn’t me that these things happen to”, in not considering the other person as part of the whole of humanit... —

Day 570: Not Considering the Whole Pt. 2

Another thing that came up, is how can we possibly consider the whole when we’re not whole ourselves, but looking for things outside of ourselves to complete us, through relationships and so on, thing is we have to piece ourselves back together first, in order to experience th... —

Day 569: Not Considering the Whole

I’m sure there have been times in most of our lives where we have saw something, witness something and said to ourselves, ‘Man I’m glad that wasn’t me, without considering the person the thing happened to, and/or maybe something went wrong with something and you thought that i... —

Day 568: Redefining Plans

[Analogy]: A Plant is a plan that grows over time. A Planet is a Planned Place where all Life should equally thrive. A Plain is a Plan that’s simple in design. So why is it that we refuse to make Plans outside my mind? How many times have you told yourself, “What if my plan f... —

Day 567: Redefining Goals

In essence the only substantial goals I ever made in my life up until the point I found Desteni, was a two-point shoot to win a basketball game almost every time I would play, other than that, none of my goals were long-term, consisting of life-changing factors that would assi... —

Day 566: Redefining Scheduling

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined scheduling as something done to appease other people, where it seemed as if I was always on someone else’s time and not my own, growing up. In essence knowing that I had to do something and/or be somewher... —