Member since April 2008.


Have been watching videos since the beginning, started to participate a bit after. Stopped for a relationship then joined back again mid 2010.

Paul Quessy

Day 437 - Dis-Traction from the Physical

The past few days I have been noticing that when I am talking to a person, or when I am focusing on doing something like writing or working or cooking or making coffee, I will be focused on that one point quite well, meaning I will be here with the person or the thing that I a... —

Day 436 - Specificity and Change Part 2

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be honest with myself in/as my starting point of process which has lead to myself not walking any point with real efficiency and effectiveness because I have wanted a quick fix solution to the problems/experiences... —

Day 435 - Specificity and Change

This is a common belief that is/has been plaguing me for a while. The belief that I have not changed and that I am still living most of the patterns that I have been working on for years is something that is/has been bothering me wherein, each time I take a look at the general... —

Day 434 - Letting Myself Go Part 5

In the past Self Forgiveness posts I have been looking at the design of this program and have found that self judgment is relevant to why/as I hold myself back and hold myself still, keeping myself from speaking at certain times, and why it is that I am not able to relax here ... —

Day 433 - Letting Myself Go Part 4

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how people will view me and from this starting point constantly place my attention outwards on other people and the external reality, but do this from a starting point of self judgement wherein I focus on other p... —

Day 432 - Can I OutThink Thoughts?

I am going to take a momentary pause with writing out the point of letting myself go as I have been writing in my previous blogs and take this moment to look at whether or not I can outthink my own thoughts. Outthinking my own thoughts goes something like this: I will have a ... —

Day 431 - Letting Myself Go Part 3

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by others' reactions and believe that I am in relation to their reactions, meaning taking their reactions personally if I am in the proximity of them and/or talking with them I forgive myself that I hav... —

Day 430 - Letting Myself Go Part 2

So this self, this ego that I have defined myself within/as, wherein I am uptight and I hold myself `back` in all moments when I am around new people or around a new environment or even when I have gotten to know a person and see/believe/perceive that I have been too personal ... —

Day 429 - Letting My self go

In the previous blog, I was writing about writing from the starting point of ego and how that was the initial starting point for that blog. I then touched upon parts of ego and self definition. "wherein as I speak with another person the point that I speak from is not from my... —

Day 428 - For Self

So before I was writing this blog, I was resisting writing the blog, it was like, damn here is another thing to do for the day, a thing that I must do and a thing that I believe is expected from me to do. So I took a moment to poop and as I was pooping I was looking at why is ... —

Day 12 - Stabilizing Emotions Stabilizes Diabetes

I find that most of us diabetics are very emotional people and can react quite easily to something someone says to us about diabetes which they may not be entirely informed upon, or we are limited in some aspect within our realities due to a point regarding diabetes such as in... —

Day 427 - Connecting with Myself Part 4

I commit myself to reestablishing the relationship with myself by creating the points throughout the day where I move myself into inward focus when speaking to people, when doing jobs, when I am eating, basically whatever I am doing = to move myself into the point of inward fo... —

Day 11 - Separation From Experiences SF

In a previous post I wrote about a point regarding speaking to my uncle and noting that I had ate food soon before there and was starting to feel a bit high but then I decided to make an excuse of being social in that moment to not cut myself out from the conversation and go t... —

Day 426 - Connecting with Myself Part 3

Before I continue on with the self forgiveness process of connecting with myself in relation to following others and being more outwardly focused on the others around me than who I am within myself, I am going to write a bit about how I see emotions and feelings are also a poi... —

Day 425 - Connecting with Myself Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the choice of following others actions wherein I look and find things about a person that I see as beneficial and then move myself in accordance to those points simply because they are getting something that I wo... —

Day 424 - Connecting with myself

In the past 2 blogs I wrote about the point of feeling lonely and how, when I was in a group of people, I felt disconnected from others and felt like I was alone in that moment, like I had no one to relate to so this then begs the question as to why did this come up? Why am I ... —

Day 423 - Feeling Alone while Surrounded by Others Part 2

In the last post I left off with describing an experience that I had in relation to being in an environment and being around others yet feeling alone, feeling as if I had no connection to anyone. And how through relationships I have looked for that point of connection or with ... —

Day 422 - Feeling Alone While Surrounded by Others

A Cool point opened up today within myself, a point that I have not looked at for quite some time and has plagued me for quite a while and this point today was able to give me perspective on this point that I have not been able to define to a point of satisfaction for quite so... —

Day 421 - Seeing Sex Before Anything Else Part 5

I commit myself to realigning myself starting point with interaction with the opposite sex wherein if I see that a thought of sex comes up or there is a want for sex coming up as I move towards interaction with the opposite sex, I assess myself in that moment and see if I real... —

Day 420 - Seeing Sex Before Anything Else Part 5

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my starting point for interaction with the opposite sex to be sex wherein I communicate and interact with the opposite sex only from the starting point of getting sex, not seeing the being for who they are or for what they acce... —

Day 419 - Seeing Sex Before Anything Else Part 4

Before I continue with self forgiveness statements I want to look upon the point of sex being an unknown and having curiosity about this unknown, so much curiosity that I constantly wanted to find out what sex was so bad and wanted to understand why this culture is so much bas... —

Day 418 - Seeing Sex Before Anything Else Part 3

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start the day off with questioning/wondering if/when/where/how I will be able to get sex and from this question direct and develop my image from that respect, considering sex when I dress, considering sex as I brush m... —

Day 417 - Seeing Sex Before Anything Else Part 2

I left off in the previous blog with writing about how I see sex as a primary point while communicating to people and see sex within the world environment and how sex has become an all encompassing point, to a degree that much of what I do has an ulterior motive of sex,like wh... —

Day 416 - Seeing Sex Before Anything Else

When I look at this world in respect to media, in respect to clothing, in respect to posture, in respect to words, in respect to the body, in respect to hygiene, in respect to lots and lots of things, the first thing that comes to mind is commonly sex. Sex is such a large syst... —

Day 415 - Self Judgment Impedes Self Responsibility

Throughout walking process self judgment has been a large point that I have been facing and walking through. Self judgement comes up quite often in relation to many process point and recently I was facing a point in relation to sexual attraction and the thoughts about sex comi... —

Day 414 - I Can't Masturbate Without Images Part 3

I commit myself to understanding how I am abusing the body and how I am creating a defunct sexual expression by allowing myself to watch and masturbate to porn, to understand this by looking at the consequences of my actions, by looking at what I have defined as sexual and rel... —

Day 412 - I can't Masturbate without Images

While I was stopping masturbation to porn I found that a common fear of mine was `how do I masturbate without porn?` `How do I stimulate that belief and attraction without images or without words or without something external from myself?` What I was saying within this stateme... —

Day 413 - I Can't Masturbate Without Images Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that since I cannot get it up without images stimulating a sexual arousal within me that I cannot masturbate without images which is only an excuse and justification to continue my relationship with porn and ... —

Day 411 - How I Create Stress as Self Abuse SCS

I commit myself to aligning myself to walking responsibility as priority, meaning that throughout the day if/when/as I have thoughts that are like `I will watch tv before I start working" I correct that alignment by stopping that thought and work on the responsibility first a... —

Day 410 - How I Create Stress as Self Abuse SF

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prioritize personal interests when moving upon the point of deciding what and how I will make use of my time, in this creating stress because I am placing the responsibilities as second in priority when I am aware th... —