Rebecca Dalmas

Working with my own emotional firewalls Day 753

I had an interaction with a family member where I noticed that I rushed in something I said. If I look, I realize an pattern that I have lived come forward. It is a color of rushing, and of trying to get on top of something said, to both push it away and fix it. What also happ... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Every Moment is an Opportunity Day 750

I spent time with someone yesterday and had a cool moment in hearing their perspective, as what they have lived and done in their life. It was about being in a space where within the morality, a false morality, the voices in their head was that they should not be there, and ye... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

What am I standing as? Day 749

So, there is this fear, it is such a wall, or appears to be so. Despite the life that is me, seeing this, at the same time, moving through this appears to be impossible. Yet, like any knot, some things take time to unwind. Opening them up to realize the twists and turns, is a ... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 748 Looking at frustration to realize my own fear.

That point where i become frustrated, I can use as a red flag , in terms of what behaviors I choose and use to direct myself within, as a moment. If I lose myself to frustration, I become inferior to myself, unequal to moving through the border of my ability to ‘ know the scor... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 747 My own structural resonance and emotional firewalls.

My own structural resonance and emotional firewalls. I recently interacted with what I saw as a very large emotional firewall. I have had enough experience in my life that I realize in moments that it was not so much what I said, but more in how I said what I said. What I m... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 746 MOTHER earth is speaking.

I remember when performing that a key could change, and the whole tenor as the very fabric of the music could change. I remember asking myself in my earlier years, how I could move with this more, as become more fluid within the content. In time, as I practiced and mastered th... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Looking within Felicity Day 745

I am looking at resistance, as resistance is fear. I remember sometimes in music, a phrase or form would appear to be unable-to-be-understood for me. The form would come and the math, the measure of it was like something distant from me. It was as though there was a veil i... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Presence and resonance beingness . Who am I? Day 744

In my last blog I wrote about sensing what can only be called a resonant change within myself, after living in a foreign country. I wrote about how I noticed a physical resistance that precipitated calling out a behavior as being extreme where previously, before living in a... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Memories are a resonant being . Day 743

Two memories have come up that I have looked at before. I notice that I also have back chat or “worst case scenario’ imagery coming up. The worst case scenario ‘ episodes’ are really random, using all manner of imagery. I have these come up in relation to driving because I ha... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

E-motional memory verses Superior memory. Day 742

Emotional memory verses superior memory. What is an emotional memory? It is a memory that moves by association, a scattered self, building stories to avoid looking directly here, and choosing to self direct in effective and practical ways. It is a memory that is a mis-use ... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Moving into Fear and Losing Potential Day 741

Moving into fear and losing potential Where is that point of movement, a sound movement in a way, where I move into resistance, instead of solution? I can realize when I move into comparison, blame and spite, all of which is fear, as this is moving into protection instea... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Remaining Grounded and seeing the Ephemeral Manipulation of Sound. Day 740

remaining grounded and seeing the ephemeral manipulation of sound, as the very words, as our focus with which we speak. I have been working with children, to the point where I live an invisible warped ephemeral movement in relation to the processing of words, as the spellin... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

What is the Semmelweis Effect? What is personality? What is sound character? What is a false morality? What is correct action? Day 739

I ask myself what is right action and a state of being in righteousness? Right action is focus of will on the practical, where there is no inner personality resisting or having expectations as the focus is always on solutions. What does it mean to no longer have a personality/... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Generating Meaning is ? Day 738

The elephant in the room, generating meaning that is separate from reality. This morning I woke up, after reading perspective on ‘ meaning’ generation when I realized that the elephant in the room is that very meaning generation within me, as all the societal constructs th... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

More on Bringing it Back to Self Day 737

Bringing it back to self. I am looking at the means justifying the ends. Reviewing this. I realize that what I aggrandize, as make huge, like an elephant in the room, is what I attend to, as focus on. Is this in self interest, as a relationship of protecting what I defin... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

The FUNdamentals Day 736

The FUNdamentals I am physical, a human being. I am this foundation, this FUNdament. The basis of who and what I am is physical. This is what is real and what I see every day, this is what is the fundamental foundation of who and what I am. This is what i am before any r... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Teach Talking as the Education of Experience Day 735

I played music for so long that I got to the point where when a mistake happened it meant correcting something, that is all. There was no one to blame only the correction to make. I remember a stand partner, who rushed at a certain point and myself becoming irritated becau... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

The Starting point is the ending point, morality and the holographic of memory Day 735

The starting point is the ending point, morality and Facing holographics of memory. I notice that at times, processing what I have accepted and allowed as a math, as a measure as a form, memorized within and as who and what I have accepted myself to allow myself to be, as a... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Learning step by step to redress a limited morality Day 733

This week I had conversation with people in very different positions in this world. I have learned to become quiet and listen with greater ease. Meaning instead of reacting I listen, to hear the forms, to see the ‘ numbers’ placed before me, as the measure of the information. ... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Who am I? What do I process as information? Day 732

I had one of those situations where I realized I was not doing the math. I was not looking at the numbers, I was not looking at the equation. I simply followed something that had been said again and again, and accepted this as a truth. I was not really LOOKING. I was not cros... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Processing information and a false morality. Day 731

I begin to realize how slow I am within processing information. It is that I process information within my imagination, or my mind, abdicating myself from what is more natural, which is to see directly here. Bumping up against the dogma that is what such a means of directin... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Taking the word PRIDE apart Day 730

Pride has a pull for me. I want to reject it, never allow myself the gift of this as I fear that the moment I am proud of something I will lose it. This has, been my experience in some ways. Those moments I felt I had reached something, only to have my joy taken from me. And y... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

A mis-use of pride- something to sort out! Day 729

One thing I notice within myself, in terms of processing my own storied information, biased and based on not having enough information, and/or not listening and looking at the practical, as myself as a living being that is physical, is how much I resisted problem solving. Mean... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Remaining grounded even with the politician of the mind Day 728

The ending point is the the staring point. The power within staying the course. I had a confrontation with a group I help run. I had explained to another person within whom I share management with this group to keep things simple, meaning, one remained within a schedule,... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Taking things for granted and the smallest of movements Day 727

Taking things for granted and the magic of the smallest of movements. One of the things I realized in my journey of playing the violin was at the end, withiin a degree of mastery, the importance of remembering the smallest of movements as being the means to the end. What... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Automated time-lines of self accepted information in animation Day 726

In doing a walk though my past, to see, realize and understand how I have constructed personalities within and as me, as movements from my past, where I essentially did not do the math of existence, as common sense, and instead manipulated myself within to compensate for what ... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 701 Revisiting paper work. Remembering to slow down and become practical.

I notice that I get anxious when I think of dealing with the paper work systems. I have an idea, in opposition to my reality within this. Why? Because in my reality I have done a lot of paper work, and managed to walk through it, even correcting mistakes. I have created a rela... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 670 the voice of the words ' no' and the word 'LOOK' within and as me.

Lately I feel like I am being crushed. Yet is this being wound up in the mind? Then I remembered that what goes on in my head, is not real. And that in this process, things can get more intense the smaller they appear to become. Sometimes it takes me by surprise. No matte... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 699 How can this be?

I am again looking at my experience within playing the violin. I remember in my thirties, especially, when had two small children and I spent time practicing. I realized through those years that if I practiced with a part of myself resolving problems, which is myself being in... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 698 I love words. Yet not in the way I think.

I have been told that I am, or have loved, to be intellectual. Yet, this being true to some extent, it never really quite fit. I loved words in many ways. I loved it when someone said something in a different way. I could read very badly written books just to hear how the per... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com