Rebecca Dalmas

Day 650 A reaction to a coffin carrier. The ghost in the machine composed of media and/or the past.

This weekend I came across an antique piece that was a panel on wheels, about two feet high, with a ‘Y’ fork on both sides. I kept staring at it wondering about its practical use. Meanwhile, I had a sense of dis-ease, that I would call having a quality of being morbid. I aske... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 649 The matrix of limitation, a tiny life.

Getting lost in the patterns falling down from my mind and believing the emotional bodies building within my lower back. I have been standing and facing people this summer with greater intensity than in the previous months. Within this, I begin to not only see my own patterns... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 648 A moment in mind consciousness ONLY! STOP!

Yesterday, I went into a sinking personification as a belief that I had failed, that getting through was impossible, and from there I realized, wait, it is a practical world where we create a within that is not equal to the without, an above that is not equal to the below. The... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 646 Peeling back the layers of belief that I repeated again and again.

I begin to feel that I keep saying the same things again and again, Yet this repetition is how I have built my own separation from living here, equal and one, in respect of reality, as the physical world. Thus, as I peel back the layers, what I find is a composition of value j... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 645 I am the Self Directive Principle of Me.

I noticed this week that in not reacting to the words of another, as the very measure of value and/or understanding about being here, that the emotional reactions as I see them manifest - as justifications based on good and bad, as a fear of ‘ what if’- quickly passed. The mom... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 644 Culture, Tradition, and Nutella. Emotional bonds and reality.

Culture, Tradition and Nutella. Emotional bonds and reality. http://www.wired.com/2010/07/0707chocolate-introduced-europe/ Europe Discovers Chocolate http://www.huffingtonpost.com/louise-mirrer/how-world-war-ii-changed-_b_2024730.html How the War Changed Everything, Even O... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 643 What is a thought? What is a feeling? What is an emotion?

All over the world we have what is known as education. People pay money for this, and communities create schools for this. We all understand that the apple does not fall far from the tree. Thus, we can all understand that when we have opportunity, we are exposed to all manner ... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 642 Our use of water reflects our self interest that is in the end our own accepted lack.

http://americablog.com/2015/05/nestle-privatize-water-oregon.html It is interesting to see that a local state bureaucracy manipulates freely given resources in self interest. In this case, selling off their water to corporations for so little return on that resource. And, t... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 641 The point of pride, riding a desire to participate.

The point of pride, riding a desire to participate. In writing some SF today, I noticed a point of pride. I have noticed this point of pride as an impetus to do something, but have not realized the distraction of even a small measure of this as how I direct myself in living... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 640 Why do we teach our children the story of the princess ?

Why do we teach our children the story of the princess instead of the story of the physical body, as a starting point? I seems to me to be backwards that we teach a little girl about being a princess before what she really is, and the magnificence of what she is, all those ce... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 639 Acceding to the words/measure of another. Self Responsibility

Authority. Accede, to agree to another’s opinion. When one agrees without evaluation of what is being acceded to, means that one, by not reflecting on what is presented, understanding the form and investigating to become self responsible, will lose one's authority of self as ... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 638 Looking at Authority as the Politeness of Society

Looking at Authority. As I move around in society, I realize so much is expressed through emotional values, like a really long duration of touting good, and/or bad. The impetus of value touting. The whole construct of ‘ politeness’ when talking with others, a good, taking u... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 637 The Follower, the Habit of Limitation.

The Follower, habit of limitation. We learn by following. Somehow, this means of expanding and learning, has become stagnant. We get stuck in the following, the taking in of form, and get bogged down in this process, losing that which is the means to follow, to take in, to... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 636 Moving from the Big to the Small

Moving from the big to the small. A point opened up where I realize that I had judged some actions as being tedious. Looking at this in relation to what I am doing in my life, I realized that I had a belief that some of the required actions were tedious, and yet there I was... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 635 The Fabric of My Persona

The Fabric of My Persona I had an experience yesterday where I was alone with a human being playing a role in our society. As I stood there talking with him, I could see some fears coming up in relation to my role towards his role. That uncertainty , like a fly buzzing aroun... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 634 Cat Punching and a Cup-is-a-Cup.

Cat Punching and a cup-is-a-cup. We go to school, in a box, and we follow. We become the experience that reflects our focus and with repetition, we become what we think about. What is the model of our schools? We spend hours and hours in our childhood, in our developmental ye... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 633 When I react emotionally I exist as a system of default.

When I react emotionally I exist as a system of default. When I am not focused here, being considerate of all things as this world that is physical that I use to move within and be in expression as, I become agitated, full of friction and conflict resisting and reacting to th... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 632 my imaginative perceptive lens of values separating me from the practice of living a physical life.

I had a dream last night where I was kissing someone while here were people all around me. Lately, I have been asking myself how I can connect with people more than I am currently able. In this journey to life, I slow down and look at how I moved myself, what thoughts directed... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 631 Oblivion: the sense of being disregarded or forgotten. Feeling overwhelmed experience.

Oblivion: The state of being disregarded or forgotten. Feeling overwhelmed. I am the measure of what I accept and allow. The memory of me, as the measure of me, determines the movement of me here. If I have a voice in my mind, as a measure, as an entity, as a thing, though ... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 630 Am I the automation of my beliefs, opinions and ideas? Do I i consider all life?

So often I notice that I fear telling the truth, the real common sense measure of this physical real world where I live my life.. In little things even, as though making things clear is somehow ‘ bad” or ‘ offensive’. Really a form of insanity on a practical physical world. I... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 628 Going into Positive Value.

Going into the positive value, I notice how going into a positive value is defining a moment without really looking at many implications of what it means to get to the idea that is the positive value. I am so acclimated to being idealistic that being the practical steps to ... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 627 Reviewing Spite which is Fear.

I am looking at the word ‘spite.’ It is different from blame. Spite is to have a desire to hurt, annoy, or offend someone. It is having a feeling of contempt for someone. Contempt is a feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless or deserving of scorn; ... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 626 Self Pity is Self Righteousness

Self pity is self righteousness. At time I go into self-pity, which is really a form of self righteousness, because after I have believed something as been done to me, or something has not moved in he way I expect. I move into self pity, which is making what I believe to be a... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 625 The measure of myself here.

The measure of myself In dealing with people and presenting the measure of my understanding, I react. It is as though the patience to follow through, to let go and to move with the measure of what is here is not fluent. This means I am getting stuck on beliefs, opinions and... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 624 Allowing pressure to define me. A rage of belief.

Pressure I notice that I allow myself to believe that I am under pressure to perform. Within this I go into fear, because I go into comparison and then I begin to build beliefs about how things are moving around me. I lose myself in becoming fixed in my definitions within thi... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 623 The Circulation of Blame is Self as Life in Abdication.

http://www.nationofchange.org/2015/04/03/states-fail-to-properly-manage-fracking-waste-says-groundbreaking-report/ The circulation of blame. How is it that we fail to manage what is here on this earth as physical things that are how we exist here, because without them, wit... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 621 Presence as mind only or presence as Equality to life? Which is the choice of freedom?

When I am playing in a Chamber group, I have to listen to all the parts, and the whole, like I am the parts and thew whole. Depending on where I sit, I also have to pay attention to the movement of the bow of the section leader and/or person in front of me, because the bow can... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 619 The FearObligationGuilt of Doubt separating myself from using out to cross reference reality.

Doubt. There have been times when I face limitation, and I begin to doubt. Sometimes it is moving into self judgement, as an act of comparison to limited values, I stop and I breath, I slow down, I accept myself as who and what I am in as far as the shape of my nose etc. But... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Day 618 Remember in School when you really just wanted to particpate?

http://www.aljazeera.com/blogs/middleeast/2015/03/wont-read-piece-syria-isil-iraq-isis-150317125900133.html Remember in school when you really just wanted to participate? Remember wishing you could speak up and interact? I think this is the real nature of men. I see it in ... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

The limitations of our thoughts as knowledge and information only, and the suppression of our presence.

Accepting the form of sound structures and aligning them to the whole. I live in a world of information given through words, as human language. Words describe, they paint pictures of things. They sound what is here, be it the physical or some ideological metaphysical constru... —awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com