Thomas La Grua

Mind Reboots

I have been noticing some changes in my mind consciousness system that I guess I should record - for the record. About 3-4 weeks ago, I began noticing some strange occurrences or perspectives. The first one has to do with time. It seemed to slow down to a crawl and for a while... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

As Summer Comes to a Close

The Battle line of the Within and the Without Recently, I had a dream that I noted. In the first part of the dream, I was lucid, like aware that I was in a place where I could fly and that I had been there before, yet lacked the memory. I flew high over the lands until I c... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

The Flaw of Logic

There is so much that I don’t understand as in an awareness of the consequences I cause unto myself and everything else through all of existence because of what I do or do not do. Whether I speak of the big or I speak of the small, it doesn’t matter because they are one in and... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

From "My Way or the Highway" to Humbleness and Understanding

In my previous post, Opportunity in Consequence, I touched on a realization I’m beginning to open up and understand in relation to my idea of standing up for my rights and my right to live my way according to such rights. In short, this was as it has been with me, a my way or... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

Opportunity in Facing Consequence

I had defined myself as being oppressed, tormented and ostracized for standing my ground, not bowing down to what was wrong and never ever letting myself be pushed around. I viewed the masses as following the bullies, who would direct the masses in what I considered to be the ... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

Ego's Revenge

I had a dream last night. A man about three feet taller than me was was holding my partner and I hostage in our home. He was attempting to put chains on us when I finally stated, enough is enough and I took the chains and threw them out the window. The big guy started pushing ... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

The Nail that Sticks Out

I have often used the statement, “the nail that stands up gets hammered down” in an effort to justify never backing down unless it was a strategic stand down. My rationale stems from my fear of being hammered down, again and again. Who would I be if I bowed down and obeyed th... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

Freedom within Structure

In the past, I used to believe that freedom meant the opportunity to do as we pleased as long as no one harmed anyone else. It was an easy, child like way of thinking for me because deep down inside I knew that I was not out to harm anyone. Lots of laughs, albeit somewhat sad ... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

Seeing Where I Am by Assisting and Supporting Another

Last weekend, I went to visit a friend that I had not seen in almost three years. In him or through him, in terms of my memory of how I was in relation to him in the past, I considered (through a form of practical comparison) how I am now, i.e., if and how I’ve changed in rela... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

Manipulation and Frustration as my War Continues

In relation to my war with some members of the community and the community in general, there are a few more points that I was able to see, yet refused to admit. From the beginning, in looking at, calculating or imagining the playout of events, I saw fairly accurately to where... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

Secrecy and Self Responsibility

The Moment of Change (Part 1) - Back to Basics Some time ago I wrote about our lack of information integrity/accountability wherein I stated, “Information Unaccountability is a weapon of mass destruction that will continue to spread destruction, disease and death until “We ... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

How I've Been is Not how I Have to Remain

Consciousness of the Spider Monkey - Part 1 If you asked me who I am and what I have been, even at a young age in terms of the undercurrent designs that I had embodied, I would have said that I am a soldier fighting for my rights to live free and do as I please. It’s not tha... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

Home on Summer Vacation

Even though everything is actually going quite well or fine, my mind after a time always seems to kick into overdrive and make it appear as though things are falling apart. This is how I woke up this morning and let me just state, I’m not taking the bait. In other words, I’m n... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

From the Pain of Experience within to the Change of Self-Expression

The title is specific because, as I said the words aloud and wrote them out, I changed them each time until they looked and sounded of the outcome that I most cared to create or recreate myself as - from pain of an experience to the change of self expression. There is no ... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

What am I Waiting for and Who am I - Part II

What am I Waiting for and Who am I? Well, I’m not waiting anymore. As I stated in my last post, I’m letting go of my judgments of words for and as being defined by consciousness. Why? Because the human language as sound, energy, physical symbolism is of consciousness/ego of ph... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

What am I Waiting for and Who am I ?

What am I waiting for, who am I and why do I sit here ready to type, typing as though there is nothing to say? Well, for starters, I really don’t like to use the word, “well” and I don’t understand how and why other people don’t see it, see the words of consciousness in our fa... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

From Spite to Recognition of Perspectives

An uncomfortable point of anger and spite that came up within me this weekend has to do with the ongoing saga, Horrible Neighbours or Horrible Me that my partner and I have been walking as part of our personal processes and investigation/participation in the local legal system... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

A Dream of Being Lost - Part IV

I had another dream in relation to the point of alcohol. I was at a bar, inside the bar with a couple of people that I knew, but not enough to remember their names. I had been trying for some time to get a beer and was getting a little frustrated feeling more and more thirsty.... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

The Dream of Being Lost - Part III

In continuing from “Dream of Being Lost - Part 2”, looking deeper into the points of addiction, while including freedom and control into the mix, I will see in my physical living application to what extent I am able to right or align myself to the self-directed changes I am w... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

A Dream of Being Lost - Part II, Analysis

A Dream of Being Lost - Part II From writing out part I of A Dream of Being Lost, I’ve been able to pinpoint various fears or energetic definitions of inferiority - that which I’ve been standing in fear of. For example, “out drinking” and “alcoholic” being at the beginning ... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

A Dream of Being Lost - Part I

In this dream, I had been out drinking somewhere and then I found myself trying to get back home, but I was lost. I wanted to go back to Taoyuan city, the place I’ve called home for many years now. So, I got on the back of rickshaw and the driver peddled his three wheeled cycl... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

Obsessing over Perfection in Judgments of Comparison

Do I sometimes get obsessed, possessed or am I just or practical when it comes to buying stuff? I don’t recall exactly when I began to insist upon only (for the best for the money of course), but I guess it has to do with attempting to avoid buyer's regret. In some ways I appr... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

Being Outside as Opposed to being Inside

Over the weekend, on Sunday I had planned to input midterm grades into the school information system. However, as the system was down, I didn’t do that. Then, for a moment I considered writing, but I didn’t because I thought, “I have nothing to write about.” Of course I was wr... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

Fundamental Human Rights, MOOCs Lesson for Asia University, Taiwan

Fundamental Human Rights Main reading materials Part 1: Warm Up Questions What are human rights and why is it important for us to understand our rights? What three human rights would you consider to be the most important? Why? Do you agree that human rights should bel... —democracyawareness.blogspot.tw

Correcting Corrupted Commitments

In the last couple of months, I have written some posts relating to commitments and my fickleness in address them. Here, I would like to like to close this subject out some clarification and a written commitment in relation to making commitments. A common theme associate... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

Bypassing my Reactions by Becoming the Solution

Over the last few blogs, I shared some of my experiences in relation to different points, victimization, burden, frustration, desperation, etc. When I slow down and look honestly at just about every point that I deal with, I see that I have always been the one choosing the pat... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

Bedtime Writing that's not a Story

The thing about words is they really don’t lie. I know I’ve said this before, but I’m not sure that, people really know what I mean. Which is to say, I’m not sure that I really know what I mean. Which is to say, I’m not really sure that I’m saying what I mean, the question is,... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

There's Got to be a Better Way

Continuing from where I left off, yesterday. I sent an email of amends, explaining how my mother had passed away last semester and how my eyes were painful, perhaps requiring surgery. What I didn’t say was how confused I remain in relation to so many points, except one. The on... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

Authority and the Battle Within

It seems to be a thing with me, so much so that I’m beginning to think it must be me. Authority figures, I’ve never appreciated them, nor even liked them. I’ve feared them and avoided them. I even threw eggs at their cars and then ran away. I wish they would just leave me alon... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

Who am I as a Virus

One of the tactics I have been using of late, whenever my mind begins acting up, is to ask myself, who am I. It is cool because, usually in that moment, with that question, the “I” as the answer jolts back into place, the chatter stops and I once again stand as the directive p... —thomaslagrua.blogspot.tw

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