Thomas La Grua

Day 34: The petty stuff

Over the last two days, I've been asking the question, where do I still fear. At an overtly conscious level, I see no fear – as in terms of dying, not existing, losing myself... Yet there must still be fear lurking within me because fear (as I understand it) is the is the root... —

Day 33: Self expectation

Situations are like waves that come and go, and the ones that scream for the the most resources always come when I least expect them. I'm talking about those moments when a problem/situation arises, and (as has often been the case) I as a personality/character immediately want... —

Day 32: Backchat: My way or the highway & Consciousness building a new ride

My way of the Highway That's my title for today, and it will probably change (it did) as I type and what really wants to come out begins to come out. This morning I woke up with a dream in my mind. I knew it wasn't something that was/is supportive – just consciousness keeping... —

Day 31: Too much theorizing, not enough Applying

Over the course of my life, there have been times when I've endured a lot of physical pain. I saw the pain as karma/payment for the sins of my past lives. Within this relationship to pain, there was always the certainty that I would endure because I saw pain as frequency sent ... —

Day 30: Morality (continued)

Continuing with Judgments (once again – parts of me that I didn't see) Self-judgments, judgments of others, and simply judgments have been a part of who I “didn't” see myself to be; yet these parts are/were there, I am certain because you cannot have bad without good, on with... —

Day 29: Morality

Morality Judgments come in so many different forms that it's sometimes hard to notice them, unless one really analyzes his thoughts; and that's what I've been doing. I'll start with me. What I’ve been missing for so so long is and has been right in front of my eyes, and behin... —

Day 27: The Nature of our Beingness, the Nature of the Beast

Are we in and as the nature of our beingness, Evil? As an existence in separation, acting independently without regard for all as one, I would say that we are quite messed up. I'm messed up: I'm not even permitted ( as per the responses that often I receive when I do speak as... —

Day 26: The First Character - wrong direction, wrong directive

Having just finished reading day 79 of the Blog, “Heaven's Journey to Life” I can definitely say that I resemble in a big way, the first character of our existence, “there must be more than ME, there must be more than HERE” Apparently, so too do we all because we’re all of and... —

Day 24: Blame

I’d like to say that I don't play the blame game. Unfortunately, it does sometimes play me. It's when something is not going the way I would prefer it, that I as mind sees opportunity, looks for and too often finds someone or something to directly or indirectly blame for my ne... —

Day 23: Lost in Time

If someone had told me a long time ago: where not to look, where not to go, I would have ran there just to have a look because that's what I do. As far as I can see, it's what I've always done, explore where I'm told not to go. It's easy to fool me; just tell me the correct wa... —

Day 22

Sometimes I'll do unto others - people, bugs, animals, etc., that which I would have done unto me, even when no one else sees. Leaving me to ponder: “perhaps, deep down..?” And then the voice of logic, “Nope, just deceiving myself again.” Because if I were that which truly lov... —

Day 21: What is Best for all

To say, “It's just the way it is.” is like saying, “It's God's will.” It's a lame excuse to not investigate what “is” here, not take responsibility, stay ignorant, experience the lie and then die without ever having stood up and questioned: Why? Some would say, it's not a lie,... —

Day 20: Skeletons in the closet: Here's mud in My face

The title refers to the symbolism of two dreams I recalled upon waking on two separate occasions. Usually I try not to focus on or remember dreams unless their symbolism is immediately apparent; sometimes I'm successful, and sometimes not. On this occasion, it seemed as though... —

Day 17: Laughter: Character or me?

Yesterday, I went and taught a class of four 1st grade kids. Since most of the students are on vacation, it was basically me just keeping them busy. So I started out with my usual thing: what's your name, where are you from... and I heard one of the kids say, “Earth,” which I ... —

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