Member since August 2010.


I'm a human being before anything else, that would not like to support abuse and would like to prove that to myself in every moment. This is the proof, as a living example to myself that I am in-fact standing for a world where everyone may have the freedom to push their self-expression to the greatest potential. If all is not free as one and equal, none are free, and therefore freedom does not exist

Having fun freeing myself at Desteni, to see and hear for myself what Desteni has shared

Kasper Kwan

It's The Physical or The Mind - You Choose

I am not claiming that being specific in walking process is irrelevant - at this point in my process, it is the most important point to remain stable in any and all of my mind shit. I tripped myself with my other foot. Starting over, slowing down, breathing, living self-fo... —

Shut Up And Start Living

Talk is cheap. Spewing out knowledge and information as an excuse not to participate fully here has made me frustrated and angry time after time; running in circles; time-looping. Time to start establishing myself in my life. Time to begin respecting/honouring that which ... —

Facing Me Direct - Will Istand or will I FALL??? (part 2)

more spontaneous ramblings but with no self-judging in between. New and improved ramblings Stay tuned for the next episode of my life walking my process. Serious but fun stuff. I may post a video about why process is fun. —

Facing Me Direct - Will I Stand or will I FALL??? (part 1)

No longer numbering my vlogs Speaking about my encounter with lust, and... wow very unstructured vlog today. Just speaking about my day... I have reached that point again - I am beginning to stand and live 'more' here - will I self-sabotage OR will I maintain this progr... —

Vlog #13: Sleep, Remaining Stable, More Reactions to Shaven Head

Talking about my day: about an experiment I am testing to direct myself when I wake up, the extent that I fulfilled the aim of establishing a stability point within and as myself, and happenings that led to some conclusions when I went to school with a bald head. YouTube 'g... —

Process Support - Self-Intimacy as Becoming Breath

We actually walk this process alone always: whether we admit it to ourselves or not. The Physical will not make us be intimate with it: stop waiting. Make the first move. Breathing is somewhat like any relationship: it will not progress and develop unless we progress an... —

Vlog #12b: Comparison: Experiences and my Shaven Baby Head

This vlog covers my current insight into my experience of inferiority thus from that starting point compare continuously, and my experience shaving my head at the hairdresser's today. Last point: finishing off the shaved head with a razor tomorrow as an action of self-will ... —

Vlog #12a: Comparison: Experiences and my Shaven Baby Head

This vlog covers my current insight into my experience of inferiority thus from that starting point compare continuously, and my experience shaving my head at the hairdresser's today. Last point: finishing off the shaved head with a razor tomorrow as an action of self-will ... —

Vlog #11: Anger September 11, 2010

In this vlog I talk about a total anger possession in my experience with the sleeping point, experiences after that which led to much writing, passive aggression, and an update on porn and my relation to it. Breathing difficulty point: if anyone has an experience with it, a... —

Vlog#10 September 10, 2010

Another day in process, continuing to push. I don't have much to say here. And I understand and accept the fact that I will never produce the same high-quality of videos and vlogs as long as I am still fluctuating in my applying myself in process. Yet I am compelled to ... —

Interacting with Other People as Self-Support

In past moments, I have frequently viewed the point of interacting and socialising with other people as a 'temptation' point to drown in the mind as beliefs judgments and 'playing along with' fears, acting out fears. Then this point opened up: I am glad that I was wrong. —

Vlog #9: Self-Judgment Process Support September 9, 2010

Just another day in the experience of a mind addict in rehabilitation, by pushing the self-honesty point. The piece of writing about self-judgment and my experience within it: "Being a 'Light' Unto Oneself" —


SELF-SUPPORT The part of me that stands for Life URGENTLY needed to speak to me directly and bluntly. I've only always assumed that vlogs have to be presentable and 'pretty' - presenting a fake facade of confidence. That's not the point of vlogging. I am vlogging for mys... —

Vlog #8 Part 2: Exposing Ego in the Nude

Talking about my experience with Osho tarot cards and the completion of the puzzle that was today: and revealing to myself more of who I have accepted and allowed myself to become as an ego. Revealing more past patterns of myself that people may also be facing within and as t... —

Vlog #8: Standing up in the Face of Public Disapproval/Rejection

Today was a day lived in stable living application. In that self-application, remaining physically here by placing all attention on what's here, —

Vlog #7 Part 2: Authority Figures, Silent Rebellion

This part is exploring a moment when my mother interrupted my vlogging process, and a point related to 'rushing' and 'feeling rushed' related to homework. —

Vlog #7 Part 1:How Mind Games Confuse the Hell out of Me

This time, I explored the point of 'why' I resist myself from waking up at 5.00 a.m. my experience of focusing on how others think I am instead of focusing on who I am direct, the gift of self-willed self-generated self-directed laughter, and an exploration into the feeling o... —

Vlog #6: Part 2, 5, September, 2010

This part of the vlog is about my accepted and allowed habit of diverging focus, another habit related to motivation and conflict, the real possibility of experiencing everything here as SELF, and an example illustrating how subtle mind possession may 'seem-to-be' (but actuall... —

Vlog #6: Part 1, 5, September, 2010

This first part of this vlog is about my progress in clearing points when I wake up, exploration of why I feel reluctant to do homework, why it 'makes me' tired, fear of shaving my head, a primary point within my structural resonant design: the habit of diverging my focus to e... —

Vlog #6: Revisiting Memories + Process Insight September 04, 2010

This vlog is about my progress in stopping 'grogginess' after waking up, being aware of perversions of the mind, specifically sexual perversions, the change in the dog's relation to me, revealing patterns related to homework and doing homework, the feeling of craving, a realis... —

Vlog #5 September 03, 2010

A day's mind possessions and self fuck-ups: namely on waking up, desperate-survival mode, acting as living familiar mind patterns. All of this shit because I have not allowed and accepted myself to walk this process literally breath-by-breath. Enjoy —

Vlog #4: I Fell Flat on my Face September 02, 2010

Various events that marked my lack of self-direction and self-discipline. What I have not mentioned in this vlog, but is relevant to the topic of 'falling' in my process, is frequently, I would apply myself in some moments, then allow and accept myself to be 'preoccupied' w... —

Vlog #3: Procrastination as Mysterious Eerie Craving Reaction

From the 'feel' of it I will do daily vlogs. It is assisting me greatly by placing daily flag points for myself and flag the points-that-reveal-itself yesterday, to apply myself for tomorrow. Highly recommended. Fun and helpful and is another way to practically strengthen... —

Vlog #2: The "Art" of Constructive Conversation & Other Points August 31 2010

The art of utilizing conversation as self-support to push self-honesty is really a method: 'Am I gonna do it or not?' matter. And what I find in 'converting' conversation from verbal ejaculation and diarrhea into self-support ALWAYS require humility or humbleness. The 'guts'... —

Vlog #1: Starting Over Again + Apology

I tried to be something I was not in my vlogs. I can't explain points in a structured and easy-to-understand manner (yet). All I can do now with this channel I realise finally, is just document my experiences and direct myself to live a better day that exemplifies principle ... —

Experiences after One Week: School As Self-Support

A past vlog will be posted shortly after I have written all of the suppressions/self-deception that I can see. Feel free to add to the list when it's uploaded I would be grateful. This video is about a few realisations I have about walking process practically, such as 'ho... —

Exploring My Past With Education

by Kasper Kwan My failures at school.  Until now, I have allowed and accepted these memories to be coupled with feelings of regret, shame, immense self-judgment.  Today I realise I have not forgiven myself for these things yet.  And I realise that all of these feeling... —

Justifications and Excuses

I'm getting fed up with me and my accepted and allowed indecisiveness: will I stand up for Life or NOT?! A more accurate question: "When will I stand up for Life?!" Sometimes standing and sometimes falling is NOT standing up for Life... When will I grow a pair and look at... —

Excuses, Excuses: I STOP

by Kasper Kwan My fucking God.  I have been using writing fallen moments and self-forgiveness as an excuse not to stand absolute, remaining absolutely here in breath.  After falling and revealing myself the fallen moments so many times, the physical act of falling, ‘s... —

Past Year’s Experience with Education

by Kasper Kwan I accepted and allowed myself to feel extremely convoluted, and allowing and accepting myself to block me from moving myself, my attention focused completely on myself, and my attention wavered from my studies.  At the time, I was not concerned about my... —