Member since December 2007.


At the age of 20 I grew more and more sick of myself, and my constant failures to produce something of enjoyment and meaning in my life. I searched for fulfillment everywhere but here, as the fulfillment of living breath; and so one day whilst I was contemplating what I could do in this world, and how come I experienced this world and myself as meaningless; I found desteni!

And consequently – I found meaning and a point to existence: birthing myself as life from the physical and stopping this world as it currently exist.

Viktor Persson

Day 282: A Hell of A Day

Today, I had a hell of a day. And with that, I mean that I had a day where I faced many new experiences, and reactions, of which, particularly one stands out – the desire to impress, and its polarity opposite, the fear of being useless. I really enjoy the way that my work is c... —

Day 281: The Hell of Helping

Last week I had one of those days at work where things just pile up. Without any warning I had to take on a lot of work that was redirected from other parts of the organization due to certain events. In my mind, this constituted a moment of ‘helping’ that other part of my orga... —

Day 280: Fear of the System

Fear of authorities, fear of repercussions, fear of consequences, fear of being harshly reprimanded – this type of fears are developed in childhood. Mostly this is because parents utilize fear to manipulate their children into submission. And this is also how the greater world... —

Day 278: Giving

I woke up this morning and noticed that there was a form of stress or anxiety present in my chest. I took a moment and looked within me to see where this stress and anxiety came from. What I could see was that this stress and anxiety was connected to debt, to money, and to sur... —

Day 277: Performance Paranoia

Today’s blog will be about performance paranoia. Now, what is then performance paranoia? Well, performance paranoia is that voice that can come up in your mind, that movement of fear in your chest, that slight perspiration forming on your forehead, and that increase of your he... —

Day 276: Creating Movement – Part 7: The Rewards

One point that is missed by many of us, that wish to change a pattern of laziness, or demotivation, into movement, and self-creation, is that we forget to look at the rewards that will come due to such a change that we make. And because of this, the focal point of our decision... —

Day 275: Paranoia – The Fear of Forgetting Things

Paranoia when it comes to forgetting and missing things, that is a point that has been recurring for me recently. In my line of work, it is all about the details, and here I am not exaggerating – it is ALL about the details. Hence it is different from ‘normal’ life in the sens... —

Day 274: Getting Out Into The System

In my process of birthing myself as life from the physical I have had the tendency of isolating myself from the rest of the world. I have always thoroughly enjoyed my own company, and the process of writing, and applying self-forgiveness, and designing self-corrective statemen... —

Day 273: Morning Experiences – Part 2: Remembering Myself

In my last blog I opened up my morning experiences, and these have included: Depression, not feeling like, not experiencing motivation, feeling hopeless and as if there is no point in getting up, feeling as if my time, and my life is being stolen from me, because I have to get... —

Day 272: Morning Experiences – Part 1: Introduction

Observing the experience of yourself as you wake up is a effective technique to get to know ‘the real you’ – and what is actually going on within. Because usually, what comes up in the morning, are those experiences that are otherwise, throughout the day, under the surface of ... —

Day 271: Children and Social Anxiety

Today I met a child at work. Sometimes I find myself reacting in fear/anxiety when I am faced with a child, and this was one of those times. The core fear within all of this is that the child will ‘see through’ my façade and then say something that will penetrate deeply into m... —

Day 269: Hierarchies

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear people that are above me in the hierarchy in my work place – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into inferiority, and fear when communicating with someone that have a higher and mo... —

Day 268: Creating Movement – Part 6: Baby Steps To Change

In my last blog in the ‘Creating Movement’-series I ended off with saying that in this blog I was going to cover the Rewards of changing apathy, and laziness into movement. Since then I have realized that there is an important point that must be covered before we go into the d... —

Day 266: The Building Blogs of Life

The building blogs of life – what is that? Consider the following: Who you are is made up out of words, where each word has a definition, and that definition can consist out of other words, experiences, feelings, emotions, pictures, or memories. When you move yourself througho... —

Day 264: Fear of Missing the Train

When I have now become a regular commuter, I have come to notice a fear of missing the train. Now this fear is interesting to observe, because it is a cool example of the irrational nature of fears. Even though I am mostly 10 to 15 minutes early, I will still have a urgency, a... —

Day 263: Making Commuting Worthwhile

In life we sometimes face these moments in time where it is difficult, it is hard, and tiresome. We for example run out of money, or lose our job. Or we hurt ourselves in someway so that we are not capable of handling our reality as effectively as before. For me, this bad/unco... —

Day 262: Finding a Solution

When I turn on the television and look at the conventional newscasts that are aired every night, most often what will be shared is problems. There are problems with schools, problems with politicians, problems with money, problems with crime, problems with jobs, problems with ... —

Day 259: OOD = Obsessive Organizing Disorder

Today as I woke up, I knew that I had a long day of reading ahead of me – and because I know that I can focus and concentrate better when I have had some physical movement, I decided to go out and spend my morning doing some ‘farm-work’. Now, I currently live on an old farm, a... —

259: Some Keys to Transcending Fear

I remember Bernard once said to me that if you still experience fear in someway, then you are not aware yet of life – and that fear as such was a cool cross-reference in terms of establishing where you are in your process of self-creation; when there is fear – there is still a... —

Day 257: The Ultimate Act of Revenge

When I have been in a quarrel with someone, and I accepted and allowed myself to go into a reaction, and in someway or another vest myself in the conflict, and take it personally, there is an interesting aftermath taking place within me. This aftermath will involve me having v... —

Day 256: Squabbling

Today’s blog will be dedicated to looking more deeply into a word that I have run into in my daily living. This word is ‘squabbling’ and in the dictionary squabbling is defined as the following: A noisy quarrel about something trivial: family squabbles. Now, not too unexpected... —

Day 255: Are You Easily Distracted?

Are you one of those that get’s easily distracted? For example, when you have decided to do your homework, or sit down to engage in a activity that you do not look forward to that much, you seem to find so many other things that are more important, and that you would like to d... —

Day 254: Stealing My Time

In the recent interviews with Anu on Eqafe, the point of how much time we spend on the problems we face inside of ourselves, compared with the time we spend on establishing and living a solution within ourselves is discussed. You can download and listen to the interview HERE. ... —

Day 253: Haunted By My Expectations

Have you ever felt haunted by your own expectations? For me this has been a recurring point in my life for some time, and the pattern basically goes like this. I will create an expectation about how something should, or is going to play out, and then I will begin to stress tha... —

Day 250: Drive, Passion, and Excitement

Drive, passion and excitement – three words that so many of us look for in life, I myself not excluded, which is why todays writings will be dedicated to this point. To illustrate my issues with these words, lets have a look the popular TV-series: Suits. In suits, which is abo... —

Day 247: Creating Movement – Part 1

This blog post will be the start of a series of blogs where I will share how I changed myself from being without movement and direction, to being motivated, driven, and proactive. I know that there are many out there like me – that just do not feel like doing anything – and I ... —

Day 246: The art of decision making

Oftentimes we do hear how it’s good to vent ourselves – which it’s apparently healthy to clear the air, get everything out there, speak it as it is, and show what is really going on. In theory this might be great, because we can discuss what is really going on – though in prac... —

Day 245: Extending The Family Unit

If we take a look at the base programming in human beings, one deep and very much influential pattern is the characters we create and live out in relation to the family. The average human being exists within and as the understanding that the family means more than ‘strangers’ ... —

Day 244: Revolt

In the adult world there are many traditions, habits and social niceties that just doesn’t make any sense. For example, if you’re invited to another, and they are offering dinner; you can’t start eating until they say it’s okay to start eating. Other strange points is that you... —

Dag 372: Existentiell ångest

Existentiell ångest, vad är det? Jo, existentiell ångest är den upplevelsen som dyker upp inom de flesta när man kommer in i vuxenlivet och märker att tiden faktiskt går ganska fort, och man därmed förstår att man inte kommer leva för evigt. Denna upplevelse har också getts an... —